EDL latest! by Malatesta
(Whilst we wouldn’t agree that sitting and letting EDL collapse on itself is a best strategy, nevertheless this is another brilliant and funny analysis of latest developments in “honestly-not-racist-guv” English Defence League)
EDL stumble from crisis to crisis! Read All Abaht It!
Crivvens, Jings and Help Ma Boab! Whit a week it’s bin. The EDL got a dreadful kicking in the media last week over the alleged connections with the Norwegian murderer Anders Breivik and spent inordinate amounts of energy denying it. Then folk on their forums said ‘actually, I met him/ had him as a friend’ on Facebook. Former EDL member Paul Ray was cited as an ‘influence’ on Breivik and Norwegian plod announced they wanted to interview him. Ray has subsequently been on Al Jazeera denying all knowledge of Breivik but no doubt revelling in the 15 minutes of media fame which everyone in the EDL vanity operation is so desperate for. Ray was booted out of the EDL by ‘Sir’ Tommy Robinson in the early ego clashes (much to our amusement) and spends his days greeting into his laptop aboot Tommy and his uncle ‘Kocaine’ Kev Karrol on his ridiculous Lionheart blog (which also features his Knights Templar obsessions and has a great pic of him praying at some daft shrine or other!). The man’s a bampot and widnae know his bawbag fae a haggis!
Incidentally, EDL forum posters have started to refer to Tommy as ‘Sir Tommy’ as if Her Maj is going to knight an ex-convict woman beater who is under investigation for fraud amongst other things. Last week on some radio show Tommy of the ‘non-racist, non-violent’ EDL was quizzed about being found guilty for violence at a Luton football game that day to which he replied that he was ‘appealing’ as if this implies he is therefore not-guilty! Tommy was sentenced to a 12-month community rehabilitation order, 150 hours of unpaid work and was banned from football grounds for three years. That’s a Big Guilty!
But that’s not all. At the weekend to try to show the world that they have nothing to do with right wing extremists the EDL sent a delegation to the Norwegian Embassy to lay a wreath in honour of the slain wee ones. This completely backfired: the Norwegians telt them tae get tae fuck and the media saw it as the crass publicity stunt it so clearly wis! Not only that but on the same day Anjem Choudhary’s March Against Reality eejits were marching from Leytonstone to Walthamstow so the EDL leadership warned people to stay away from it as the EDL could not afford any more negative publicity that week. This caused enormous outrage on the forums with some stating that the EDL was set up to counter Choudhary in the first place. Tommy, still reeling no doot from all the negative coverage, did not want to give the press any more ammunition. Of course, a tiny EDL mob turned up on the way to abuse MAC which caused a wee flutter in the Walthamstow Guardian. Apparently the EDL prevented Shariah law from being implemented in their pub and then went back to their beer and crisps (bacon flavoured, of course!). Apart from that, the demos passed off in their usual tedious manner and no doubt Choudhary was upset because he gained so little publicity. The MAC and the EDL are 2 sides of the same eejit: vanity projects for deluded failures. As usual, the EDL think that because anti-fascists are against the EDL then they must therefore support MAC. Naive.
However, the demo further amplified the dissatisfaction of many EDLers with Tommy’s leadership ‘style’, i.e., distant, media hungry and kleptocratic, with someone over on the UKFD forum actually offering a leadership challenge. It is difficult not to compare this to the recent BNP leadership challenge which was manipulated right from the start. There is no way Tam is going let anyone take over his bean feast and the EDL conveniently have no elected officials or formal membership – or coherent manifesto – so his position is secure. However, this also means anyone can split off to become little Tommies to their own diminishing regional coteries as happened with the North East and North West Infidels. Oh dear!
To make matters even more hilarious Billy ‘Bunter’ Baker of the English Nationalist Alliance has slung his greasy fez into the slurry calling for unity! This occurs on an extremely regular basis on far right web forums and it never works. The far right rely on quantity not quality and the inevitable eejits and bams all join up with their own agendas. It always ends in tears! Readers may recall Bunter being humiliated in Brighton a couple of times recently alongside the fact that Tam booted him out of the EDL after a televised debacle! Poor Chubs! Well he is now claiming that the ‘failure of the New World Order’ (bit 90s that Fats!) can be rectified by uniting the EDL and ENA. Which we all believe of course. Bilbo Bawbag also has his eye on taking the helm of an increasingly moribund ‘patriots movement.’ Although Tommy’s ego was no doubt boosted by all his media appearances last week he is looking increasingly isolated with the general fragmentation of membership and the flash demo tactic which render him pretty unnecessary. He will no doubt be flogging his cute little burkahs and hoodies whilst he can still coin it from the increasingly less gullible EDLers.
All Plymouth & No Troosers!
As if all this hasnae put the wind up Tam, – Breivik, the embassy debacle, the guilty verdict, the fragmentation – last weekend’s events in Plymouth caused even more embarrassment for the leadership. In case you didnae know, Plymouth EDL had a meet and greet (literally a greet later!) on Sunday when things got massively oot of hand after they got steaming and ‘stormed’ a kebab shop terrifying the family who run it. Apparently, ‘Muslamic militants’ had been spotted hiding in the taramasalata. This is almost too embarrassing to repeat but we will anyway. After trashing the shop and intimidating the folk there it ended with plod turning up with dogs and tasers and multiple arrests. The EDL are claiming they got a bit of a hoofing off plod and a night in the cells to boot. EDL ‘angel’ Hayley Wells was nicked which was all over Twitter/Facebook with even her mum getting involved, slagging her daughter off for going oot on the lash and fighting instead of looking after her bairns! Her Ma wis affrontit! Read all about it on the excellent Everything EDL site.
The leadership of course claimed it had nothing to do with the EDL. Tam, if the Plymouth EDL have a meet and greet and then the Plymouth EDL get pissed and attack a kebab shop, then it is the EDL who are to blame! Proscribing them after the event does not really wash. Another little grupuscule also emerged from this outrage: The Combined Ex-Forces (whose regimental motto is ‘Don’t Panic!’ Don’t Panic!’) have withdrawn from the EDL citing ‘slanderous remarks’ made against them by the leadership. From what we can gather the CxF are a tiny bunch of survivalist scrubland shitters who like to camp it up wildly after a long day ‘defending OUR COUNTRY’ and ‘OUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE’ and all that. For more read this:
And it just goes on! This weeks’ Hapless Halfwit Award goes to Martin Brennan of the Australian Defence League who is currently imprisoned in Oz for being an illegal alien. This is irony on too massive a scale to make any further jokes about so you’ll have to do that yourselves. In case you don’t remember the ADL gathered a mere 30-40 beer swilling patriots at their inaugural demo – despite the fact Brennan boasted they had 1,400 members. They were then surrounded by over 200 antifascists who stopped their demo very early and sent them away with a flea in their ear. We can only assume that the key tenet of the ADL is to stand with the Aboriginal peoples to defend Australia from any further colonial domination! See our friend Slackbastard down under for more details!
August 13th sees a possible to-do at Telford when Jeff ‘Stabber’ Marsh and his Casuals are attempting to get their 15 minutes on Sky. There is, as everywhere else, much local opposition and we are hoping it will be every bit as successful as the washout in Irvine was last weekend. Have a peep at a handful of fuckwits up North in a shopping precinct not knowing whit tae dae!
To be honest, when the EDL first lurched drunkenly into the light anti-fascists were a bit unsure how to confront them. What now seems clear is that we don’t bother. We just have to sit in the pub and let the infighting and egomania consume them as they flail around looking for a future, hopelessly divided, badly led and politically naive. Braw!
‘MacMalatesta’: No Copyright