A Very Poor Show! by Malatesta
Well it was a damp squib in more ways than one for the first ‘national’ Infidels demonstration in Leeds today when scarcely a handful of Aryan warriors turned up, stood in the rain, were outnumbered by plod and generally failed to make an impression despite all their big talk recently. In case you don’t know, the nfidels faction split off from the English Defence League for several reasons: they don’t like Israel, they don’t like gays and they don’t like the fact that Tommy Lox and Lemon has been getting all that media adulation, especially as it was Snowy what was on the roof at Dudley and is the real hero! FACT! The Infidels dislike of the EDL’s multicultural racism and things like the Tower Hamlets fiasco was upsetting the more excitable elements of the EDL so the ‘leadership’ of John ‘Snowy’ Shaw has been trying to appeal to the more out and out fascist contingent that he feels at home with. This is presumably so they can all discuss The Protocols Of Zion at the Infidels Remedial Readers Club next Monday.
The Infidels don’t like the fact that the EDL liaise with plod so decided to organise a big flash demo ‘somewhere in the North’ to catch Plod out and wrong foot any anti-fascists who may be tempted to turn up and watch them getting drookit. However, their bottle went and they ended up liaising with plod and announcing the Leeds meet up a week or so ago. Consequently, and far be it for us to praise him, PC Plod put them in a kettle and let them absorb some of that fine Yorkshire rainwater that we all know and love for a few hours to cool their ardour. Those Infidels who were hoping for a racist free for all were sorely disappointed and they had to stand about, cold, wet and dying for a wee-wee until they were allowed to disperse. Some ended up in the Slug And Lettuce for a hot cup of cocoa and a bun whilst others headed off to the Hourglass Bar for something a bit more exotic. For the Hourglass is a gay bar and a perfect place for an all male lap dance and a nose full of poppers. Rumours that there is now an Infidels Gay Division are mainly untrue.
What we can ascertain is that the Infidels are trying to appeal to disenfranchised EDL and BNP members and other hing oots from disparate fascist grupuscules who are fed up with the current fascism-lite on offer and want a bit more argy-bargy! And they’re doing really well from what we have seen so far. Despite appealing to all ‘Nationalists,’ many on the far-right websites either
responded to Snowy’s callout with apathy or they simply had other plans. Other hooligan casuals were no doubt watching their local footie teams and did not want to waste an afternoon being surrounded by plod in some corner of West Yorkshire’s finest city (despite the great beer and pies down there). There’s another Casuals United do at Blackpool soon that Nazi Jeff ‘Stabber’ Marsh has been puffing of late but this will no doubt be much smaller giving the internecine feuds between the various EDL factions. And it’s going to be cold there boys, so don’t forget your cagoules!
Meanwhile the EDL Angels – or Angles as their more illiterate Twitters call them (and there’s not many angles, more a succession
of cellulite packed curves) – went to that London to shout at Mr Dave in Downing Street on Saturday. Unlike everyone else though they didn’t realise that Mr Dave doesn’t actually live there but resides in Chipping Sodomy and was at a Bring and Buy Sale today. Although The EDL Angles Demo was originally meant to be an all girls affair the lads decided to back them up in case of trouble and it’s a good job they did because hardly anyone turned up despite the Angles trumpeting it from the top of Hel ‘She’s A Right’ Gower’s shed (where she keeps her emergency Weetabix and Soleros in case the Muslamics take over and ban them!). The aim of the demo was to present a petition about something or other which had a rather paltry 300 signatures on it. There was originally a lot more but nasty Neo-Lib-Con-Dem-UAF-Searchlight-Photoshopped-Muslamics kept putting rude words on it so they had to delete at least half of them. No doubt it will be the first of Mr Dave’s priorities when he gets to work on Monday morning.
More interestingly is the future of Tommy Robinson which is
hanging in the balance. Not unsurprisingly he was found guilty of assault 2 weeks ago for headbutting someone at the Blackburn demo and he is awaiting probation reports. Seeing as he has done a year for assault already – he was happily battering his girlfriend when an off-duty plod intervened and got a kick in the head for his troubles – and he has recently been done for football violence and is basically a career criminal, it doesn’t look good. If he is sent down he may well do another hunger strike between breakfast and lunch whilst he is living it up on the nonce wing again (and unfortunately for Tommy, Nando’s do not deliver to the nick). Then there is the question of who will step into his little tiny trainers and take over the EDL leadership. Seeing as Snowy has formed his own boys brigade (no girls, no gays, and no Jews!), Guramit Singh flew the coop yonks ago, Joel Titus is banned from such activity and so on, this leaves only Hel ‘Tower of Power’ Gower and ‘Kocaine’ Kev Karol at the office. Gower, who is 70, is incapable of organisation or keeping her trap shut and a lot of EDL people hate her and if Kocaine Kev’s organisational skills are as good as his speeches then they’re pretty fucked. An interesting situation to be sure. The Infidels are likely to step it up a pace and try to capitalise on the EDL’s many misfortunes but seeing as they can hardly get a bus full for their first national demo, it don’t look good. So what next? Blackpool is unlikely to be massively attended, the EDL’s fortunes continue to decline and the Infidels debut has been a poor do indeed. We shall see.